Why aren't you a Trump supporter?
08.06.2025 00:05

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”
I know who the president of Turkey really is
I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”
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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light
I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink
I can count
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I actually pay taxes
I can read
I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”
Can being annoyed be a sign of getting angry?
I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes
authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday
Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:
I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”
I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones
I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center
Why are the Chinese so sensitive to Western criticism?
I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee
I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane
When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability
Why am I so unproductive when it's a holiday the next day?
I don’t cotton to rapists
Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.
I don’t buy bullshit
How often do prisoners try to escape from jail/prison, and how many of them succeed?
I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened
I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”
I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight
I don’t watch or listen to advertising
I understand how hurricane paths work
I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality
I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”
I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t
I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t
I see through liars
I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”
It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms
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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”
EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that
A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y
I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.
I have complete contempt for traitorism
I have complete contempt for fakery
I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions
I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes
I have a reading level above third grade
Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?
If someone works for me, I actually pay them
I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard
When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP
I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”
I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”
I have an acute aversion to scumbags
I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity
I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP
I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet
I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t
I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write
I took the same Oath and took it seriously
It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter
I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup
I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is